What Would Batman Do?

So, the other day I was on a real Batman kick after seeing The Dark Knight and I needed more.  I watched Batman Forever on TNT, searched everywhere for my copy of Batman: The Long Halloween, and even took a look at a later episode of the animated series The Batman.  Big mistake.

I swore off the series when it first came out and ruined everything the other animated series worked so hard to maintain.  Aside from discarding Danny Elfman’s masterpiece theme song, The Batman ruins all of your favorite villains–The Penguin, Mr. Freeze, Poison Ivy, Bane, basically everyone.  The series seemed to be intent on returning The Holy One back to days of the campy 60s TV show.  This could be seen most clearly with the use of the 60s theme song with a surf-rock spin and casting Adam West as the voice of the mayor.  Now, I loved the live-action show just as much as any fanboy, but this was 2004 for Wayne’s sake.  Batman Begins was just on the horizon to reinvigorate the franchise and we were given this steaming pile of guano.  Oy.

Anyways, I watched the second to last episode–during which the writers decided to introduce their own kiddy version of the Justice League–where all the super-powered members of the league end up getting kidnapped.  Now, this next part I’m not counting as a spoiler because if you actually watch The Batman for any reason other than getting completely angry, I’m excommunicating you from this blog.  Okay.  So, the “villain” ends up taking the powers of Superman, The Flash, Martian Manhunter, Hawkman, and Green Lantern and putting their abilities into robots.  The only problem is (aside from being retarded), Green Lantern’s power comes from his power ring (and thus can’t be robotically stolen from his body) and Hawkman just has wings, and if you really need some super machine to add wings to your already-super robot. . . ugh.  I can’t do this.  Post over.

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