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Archive for October, 2008

Oct 30 2008

Giving Header

Published by bill_finger under Uncategorized Edit This

I just concocted a new header for WWBD through completely legal means (insert gimpy emoticon), and I think it looks pretty cool.  That’s Alex Ross’ Batman up there, by the way (don’t pretend like you don’t know).

Tell me if you love it, you hate it, or you just don’t give a shit.  Here’s the old one to compare it to:

banner.jpg

This could be a regular thing on here — the banner changing-thing — especially as I’m about to become unemployed in a few days.  What?  You think there’s more productive things I could be doing with my time?

Before I hit the sack (i.e., playing LEGO Batman: The Videogame ) allow me to remind you that there’s only fiveish more days to vote in the current poll .

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2 responses so far

Oct 29 2008

Who Would Batman Vote For?

Published by bill_finger under Uncategorized Edit This

We only have six days left until the most historic WWBD election of our lifetimes.  I can’t stress enough just how important it is for you to vote in my blog’s latest pollThe world is watching.

So, who would Batman vote for?  I’m qualified enough (I can see a Russian Blue from my house) to answer this question plaguing all Americans.  But first, we must ask ourselves, who is Batman?  This may seem simple on the surface — afterall, any unemployed English grad can write a blog about Him — but what do we really know about His political ideologies, His conscious beliefs of how government should be run?

Batman is a maverick ; He goes His own way no matter what the consequences.  And whether it be the Justice League or the Outsiders, the Dark Knight won’t tolerate being a part of any party that doesn’t focus on the general well-being of all citizens.

Batman is a hoper ; He firmly believes in the simple principle that there is no good or evil, just right and wrong decisions.  Humans are capable of extraordinary things, all they need is to be inspired to take action.

Batman is a sole crusader in an environment that thrives on attacking the underdog; He knows that one man can make a difference, one vote can make a difference.  That said, Batman would vote for a third party candidate.

Batman is a proponent of swift, radical action to make the smallest changes — because any change created to ease the world’s suffering is a change long overdue.  He has seen (and been a part of) the power of communities working individually for the benefit of all citizens.  He knows firsthand of corporate greed, and He understands that absolute power absolutely corrupts.

But perhaps most importantly, Batman doesn’t kill.  He understands the enormous burden that would be lifted from Gotham City if He would only end the reigns of terror stemming from the Joker, Two Face, Poison Ivy, Clayface and countless others by simply taking the one thing from them that they hold dear.  But Batman doesn’t kill, because if he crosses that line, then he’s no better than them, then he’s finally admitted that redemption is only attainable for the few privledged souls who grew up instilled with the knowledge of right and wrong.  Batman isn’t afraid of doing things the hard way as long as it’s for the common good.

And it is for these reasons that Batman, the Selfless Protector of Gotham, the Dark Knight Detective, would vote for Ralph Nader for President of the United States of America.

2 responses so far

Oct 25 2008

LEGO Batman: The Videogame Begins

Published by bill_finger under Uncategorized Edit This

Did you know “videogame” is one word now?  ‘Cause someone forgot to tell me.

I just got LEGO Batman: The Videogame today, giving me even less incentive to find a real job now.  I got the PS2 version because I’m just not willing to commit to a Playstation3 yet (insert emotionally immature emoticon); understandably it isn’t quite as beautiful as its next-generation brothers and sisters (the Wii’s a sister).  Of course, this isn’t really the kind of game you appreciate for its graphics.  I’m appreciating its various puzzles, its non-stop use Danny Elfman’s iconic theme song , and its overall adorable interpretation of the bat-universe.

Expect a full, formal review sometime soon.  First, I have to figure out how to beat Mr. Freeze.

4 responses so far

Oct 23 2008

Hope, Gone in a Flash

Published by bill_finger under Uncategorized Edit This

Good news, Flash fans!  This trailer for a movie featuring the Scarlet Speedster was shown before a special screening of The Watchmen in Portland, Oregon:

Oops.  That’s actually bullshit.

All reports indicate that the above trailer is fan-made and was never shown at an early showing of The Watchmen (insert slightly disappointed emoticon).  The quality of the trailer isn’t really that bad and there aren’t any answers as to where the grainy footage was actually taken from, so I’m not completely ruling this one out.  But it’s probably fake.

The hoax does have people talking and asking themselves why we haven’t heard anything about a real Flash movie from Warner Brothers.  With Universal releasing more and more Marvel superhero movies, it’s hard to fathom why Warner Bros. refuses to follow suit .

Gotta run.

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Oct 21 2008

I’m Batman and I Approve This Message

Published by bill_finger under Uncategorized Edit This

The question that has plagued voters for the past . . . shit, has it been a year? . . . the past year must finally be answered.  This is the most pressing question you’ll face in the next two weeks.  Who would Batman vote for?

Go to the left side of the page to cast your (and by “your” I mean “Batman’s”) vote in the most important WWBD election to date.  The poll will close on Tuesday, November 4th at 8 PM, and I’m not going to lie, we may spend days, weeks even, calculating who the true winner of this election is.

You have the Maverick, the Hoper, Dr. Liberty, Green Girl, and Two Face.  Choose wisely.

I have a pretty good idea of who the right choice is , but I’ll have to do a little more research (insert comic book-reading emoticon) before fully supporting the Dark Knight Detective supporting one of the available candidates.

By the way, Florida, you’re not allowed to vote.

4 responses so far

Oct 19 2008

Retro Movie Review

Published by bill_finger under Uncategorized Edit This

Yes, Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer came out over a year ago now.  Yes, you don’t care about the Fantastic Four anymore ever since Iron Man came out.  Yes, this isn’t the site you come to for outdated movie reviews .  But you’re all missing a very important fact: I just got to watch this movie on HBO.

Truthfully, my knowledge of Mr. Fantastic, the Thing, the Human Torch, and the Invisible Woman is a little limited.  I know they obtained X-Menish superpowers in a radioactive spider-fashion, but I can’t name a single villain for the team besides Dr. Doom.  However, I do know the original movie sucked balls.

It was patronizing — written for an audience fifteen years younger than me — and I was naive to assume that the sequel would come off any better.  The dialogue was overly simplistic and the characters’ individual conflicts were predictable at their bests.  Add to that special effects that didn’t really scream “special,” and you’ve got a movie lacking anything remotely fantastic.

But it’s not fair to say Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer is worse than the previous film.  The plot is much more intricate (though by no means more plausible), and with the long-winded origin story out of the way, the characters had more room to show their personalities rather than their superpowers.  Plus, Jessica Alba got more screen time.

Keep in mind that this doesn’t make Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer a good movie; it makes it a better movie than the last one .  And that still only earns it two batarangs out of five.

4 responses so far

Oct 17 2008

Cue the Violins

Published by bill_finger under Uncategorized Edit This

It’s a sad, sad day at WWBD, ladies and gentlemen.  My touchstone masterpiece of cutting edge blogging technology, my wittle baby, my widget is broken.  Look:

She’s a mess.  With only 106 days, 21 hours, 3 minutes, and 24 seconds until the unofficial release date of the animated Wonder Woman movie , she’s died.  Someone must have stolen the image I stole (I blame Cheetah ).  This, combined with the zombie orgy sounds that are supposed to be the ’70s Wonder Woman TV theme, has forced me to scrap the ticker (insert mournful emoticon) and replace it with a pocket-sized The Spirit widget.

We’re all looking forward to The Spirit, right?

2 responses so far

Oct 16 2008

Debateman

Published by bill_finger under Uncategorized Edit This

You all saw the debate last night, right?  No, not that one.  That so-called “debate” between Lando Calrissian and the Emperor was comical at best.  I’m talking about the comic bookal debate between Batman and the Penguin.

I’ll admit the Penguin, being the erratic maverick he is, scored some points against the Batmessiah for being a relative newcomer who pals around with criminals.  Batman was just too eloquent and wasn’t able to appeal to the everday Joe Chill .  It’s ridiculous, considering the Penguin is a rich, old man with seven penthouses.

Here it is for those of you who missed it:

Now go do something productive.

2 responses so far

Oct 15 2008

Batman Begins 3

Published by bill_finger under Uncategorized Edit This

There aren’t any theaters near me that are playing The Dark Knight anymore (insert sobbing emoticon), so we can finally discuss our plans for the undeniable sequel.

Batman: Battlelines (tentative title) will feature not only Mark Hammil as the Joker , Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter , and Megan Fox as Catwoman , but also the oft-forgotten villainy of the Riddler, the Penguin, Bane, Harley Quinn, and of course, Two Face.  Stay with me here.

Christopher Nolan has already beautifully shown that he has no intention of following the same formula of the last Batman movie series; villains don’t simply have a single stint in Nolan’s world, they evolve (see: Scarecrow).  And when we last left Gotham City , it was apparent that things were getting out of hand.  The costumed criminals were on the rise and the lines between “good” and “evil,” “sane” and “insane,” were visibly blurred.

In the next cinematic ode to The Knight Who Happens to Be Dark, we will no doubt see The Detective facing a myriad of new psychopathic criminals.  Instead of focusing on the backstories of each unique villain, Batman: City on Fire will once more explore the mind of Bruce Wayne as He struggles to discern if His alter-ego is on the right side of the law.  An unnerving attraction to the feline female, Selina Kyle, will be mirrored in the actions of the Joker and his former psychiatrist, Dr. Harleen Quinzel (I’m thinking Mary-Kate Olsen).

I take Nolan on his word that there won’t be a Robin , but I know the bat-impostors from the beginning of The Dark Knight will be recruited by The Doer of All Things Pure and Good to aid Him in the all-encompassing war of Gotham City (see: Miller’s The Dark Knight Returns).

Whew.  Now, that all made perfect sense, didn’t it?

Somebody get me a job at Warner Brothers.

2 responses so far

Oct 13 2008

The Cat’s Out of the Bag

Published by bill_finger under Uncategorized Edit This

Stop voting.  I’m closing the poll , which means we’ve broken our previous record of twenty-two votes and set the bar to an unprecedented thirty-one votes.  Way to go, crusaders.

Cue the drumroll.

According to WWBD readers, the actress best suited to play Catwoman in The Dark Knight 2/Batman Begins 3/Batman Returns 6 is. . .

Megan Fox!

Fox stole the election with 26% of the vote (8 votes), followed closely by Angelina Jolie with 19% (6 votes).  Jessica Biel took 16% (5 votes), just barely ahead of Charlize Theron’s 13% (4 votes).  Tea Leoni, Cameron Diaz, and Portia De Rossi walked away with two votes each (6%), and the also foxy Vivica A. Fox and Catwoman-veteran Halle Berry managed to not completely embarrass themselves with a single vote each (3%).  Surprisingly enough, Christopher Nolan’s personal pick for the role , Cher, did not receive one measly vote, suggesting that Nolan was just messing with us or he simply doesn’t know who Catwoman is.

Megan Fox, our new queen, already has some support in the blogobatosphere.  Other polls have acheived similar results and Fox-fans are petitioning Warner Brothers to see her on-screen (I’m still looking for a link).

Now go do something productive.

2 responses so far

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