What Would Batman Do?

ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the phenomenally gifted actor from the critically acclaimed Who’s the Boss? and The Tony Danza Show, Mr. Tony Danza!

Cue applause, cue spotlight following Tony Danza to center podium.

TONY: Thank you, thank you.  It’s an honor to be here tonight to host the 100th blog post of What Would Batman Do?  You know, a lot of people never thought the blog would last this long.  They thought that a blog devoted entirely to Batman and other topics of contemporary geekdom wouldn’t last more than a week.

Cue sound effect — audience chuckling.

TONY: Well, they can all burn in hell now, right?  I mean, am I right?

Cue sound effect — crickets chirping.

TONY: Let’s take a look at some of our favorite WWBD moments.

Tony looks to above screen as post montage begins, set to Green Day’s “Good Riddance.”

We Begin with a Shot of a Movie Theater Playing “The Mark of Zorro” (July 9, 2008)

So, What Would Batman Do? has officially started. As one might guess, I intend to discuss Batman, bat-gear, bat-vehicles, and recent bat-episodes in great detail, but I also would like to branch out into other realms of contemporary geekdom.  Honestly, I’ll probably just do this for a week or so until I find a real job.

A Post About Batman (November 19, 2008)

Ugh.  Job applications are so boring (insert bored emoticon).

Why can’t people just give me money?  Seriously.  I’m much more deserving than GM, Chrysler, and Ford .

Alright, let’s talk about Batman.   What’s going on with Batman. . . . umm. . . . we already talked about The Brave and the Bold . . . and Robin’s dead . . .

Aww, fuck it.  I’m getting a new hobby.

Party Like it’s Post 99 (December 23, 2008)

Tomorrow (by which, I mean whenever I write the next post) will be What Would Batman Do?’s 100th blog post.  It should be the most exciting thing ever that you’ve ever seen, ever.

Aaron Eckhart from The Dark Knight is set to host, but if that falls through, we can always get Tony Danza.  That guy will do anything.

Spotlight back to Tony.

TONY: And even with the unprecedented success of the blog throughout the months, What Would Batman Do? never failed to maintain its journalistic integrity with a solid sense of neutrality in all subjects.  WWBD has always strived to take the high road when it comes to breaking bat-news.

Cue second montage.

What Bush and Batman Have in Common (July 25, 2008)

The Wall Street Journal just published an article titled, “What Bush and Batman Have in Common,” citing similarities between the recent big screen version of the Dark Knight and still-president George Bush Jr.  Are you kidding me?  I mean, seriously.  Are you fucking kidding me?

Megan Fox Megan Fox Megan Fox (December 1, 2008)

According to Wikipedia , Megan Fox’s back tattoo is actually a word-for-word transcript of Adolf Hitler’s speech at the 1927 Nuremberg Rally.

Did you know Megan Fox is actually a lesbian ?

I heard Megan Fox eats live babies.

Megan Fox faked the moon landing, you know.

My friend says that he saw Megan Fox giving a handjob to Dr. Phil in the parking lot of Walgreens.

All Megan Fox base are belong to us.

Ice Turds (November 7, 2008)

I brought a frozen bottle of water with me during my adventures today, and I played that game where you wait twenty minutes, then take a swig of the two drops of water that melted.  After a few hours, I admired the large, odd-shaped ice cube trapped within my plastic bottle, and I said to myself, “This must be what Mr. Freeze’s turds look like.”

Spotlight back to Tony, stealthily hiding a metal flask.

TONY: Of course, WWBD would be nowhere today were it not for its loyal and devoted readers.  Let’s take a minute to admire these admirable commentors who have feigned interest in the Hero of Heroes, for no other reason than to express their undying loyalty to an unemployed English graduate.

Cue third montage.

eclecticbird

threedegrees

danzafan51

Spotlight moves back to empty podium, searches for Tony.  Cue sound effect — audience whispering.  Curtains close.

Trackback URI | Comments RSS